


Five Scenarios I Have Yet to See as Fic

by extremelyperturbed



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Comedy, Drabbles, Drama, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-12
Updated: 2015-11-12
Packaged: 2018-05-01 06:30:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5195696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/extremelyperturbed/pseuds/extremelyperturbed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five little drabbles illustrating five ideas I haven't seen as of yet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Scenarios I Have Yet to See as Fic

1\. 

“I am dropping you in favor of Chilton,” said Hannibal to Will as they sat at his dining table over plates of protein scramble.

“Why?”

“The way he thinks is so much more interesting and complex. Also, I find him more beautiful than you.”

Will stared at Hannibal. “Have you been drinking that mushroom tea again?”

Hannibal was irritated that Will thought he was not sober.

2.

Chilton awoke from his sleep in his coffin, awaiting sunset so he could arise and find a victim. He had his eye on a particular redhead that nobody would miss if she disappeared. Her readers might be miffed but that’s basically it, he thought. 

He was very surprised when the lid of the coffin was pulled off and he saw that his intended victim was clicking photos of him. He jumped up, hissed and bared his fangs only to have her hit him with a bat and point an oak stake at him.

“What the hell?” said Chilton as he cradled his bruised face with his hand.

Freddie smiled and said, “Hello, vampire. I’m a Van Helsing on my mother’s side.”

3.

Will sighed as he walked with Freddie while carrying a film camera into the woods. “Why are we here?”

“Forget news. Reality shows are where the money is,” said Freddie.

“Again, why are we here?”

“Because they say that a Sasquatch is here. A big, hairy beast that walks on two feet.”

“Bigfoot doesn’t exist!”

“Shut up and shoot some footage to establish the scene.”

Unknown to both of them, they were being watched.  
4\. 

“Agent Matthew Brown,” said Jack Crawford.

“Yes, sir?” said Matthew. He noticed a man and a woman standing behind him.

“I want to introduce you to Agent William Graham and Agent Ardelia Mapp,” said Jack. After they shook hands, Jack said, “I want you to work on the case of the Homicidal Honeymooners.”

“You mean, Hannibal Lecter and Clarice Starling.”

“Yes, those two,” said Jack. 

“I am not familiar with Agent Mapp but Agent Graham is mostly known as a profiler.”

“The Homicidal Honeymooners have a tendency to create copycats, mostly figuratively but occasionally literally. He will help separate which ones are the copycats and which were actually perpetrated by the pair.”

5.

“It’s been a while,” said the psychiatrist who had helped Jack deal with the “discovery” that Will Graham was the Ripper. “I can’t say I’m totally surprised since I read about the death of the Tooth Fairy and the disappearances and the presumed deaths of both Hannibal Lecter and Will Graham.”

“I am also being disciplined by the Bureau for approving the plan in the first place. I have offered to tender my immediate resignation, say whatever they want me to say to the press, and sign certain confidentiality papers as long as there is no further punishment.” Jack sat down. 

“Is there anything else that you would like to talk about?” said the psychiatrist as he sat opposite Jack. 

“I’d like to talk about Bella.”

 

The End

**Author's Note:**

> #2 would explain how the hell Chilton doesn't die. Also, I like the idea of Freddie being a Van Helsing descendant.  
> #3 Mostly because Mads is a bit on the hairy side and can grow a full beard  
> #5 I don't think Jack's psychiatrist was ever given a name. Besides Alana (though this is on shakier grounds later in the series), he was the only truly sane and normal psychiatrist in the show.


End file.
